Strength to Let Go
by trailsofblood666
Summary: a short oneshot about having the strength to move on even when it hurts


_**Disclaimer: no own Naruto... sorrys!**_

**A/N: I'm taking a quick time out from RYRM and writing this sad little story. This story is dedicated to a close friend of mine who lost the man she loved a year ago and still hasn't found the strength to move on. Maybe this story will help her in some way and maybe it wont either way it is what it is.  
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**so without further ado this story is for you Karista...

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Strength to Let Go

By: trailsofblood aka Wizard

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_Looking back a lot of things don't exactly make sense, but I suppose some things are just that way, you're not suppose to dissect everything and find all the reasons to life. There are many questions left unanswered and many things left unsaid. If I could go back and do it over again, start at the beginning, I would make sure to tell everyone how much they meant to me, how much I cared. There is no going back now, not anymore; I'm forever stuck here looking down at the shards of the life I left behind. I can see them, hear them, almost touch them, but they don't know I'm here. If they looked up, would they see me? Would they know I'm here and stop acting like I'm not?_

_I hate this place, my prison. Whoever said that there was life after death had obviously never died, because this was no life. There's nothing here but emptiness, a continuous infinite void that's forever pulling me. It pulls so hard sometimes I fear I won't be able to fight it anymore, but I don't want to leave my friends, not yet, I'm not ready. They still need me, look at them down there walking around helpless not knowing what to do, they still need me to guide them, they still need me and I need them. Why can't this hellish void understand that?_

_She's gotten so pretty in the space of time that I've been gone, I wonder if she notices. Her hair has gotten long, beautiful soft locks that I ache to touch again. She's always been beautiful, I never told her that enough when I had the chance. I think I took her for granted too much, too often, I didn't tell her how much I cared for her, loved her, often enough. It's one of those things that I would change if I had a chance to do it all again. This time around I wouldn't take so long to tell her how I felt and just spit it out. Our time together was cut way too short._

_She still smiles, but it's never as bright as it once was. Her eyes are always so distant as if she's not really there, I suppose in a way that's not entirely untrue. I remember that as I lay dying she begged me not to go and told me that if I died she would die with me. I never wanted that, how could I wish something like that of her? I wanted her to live her life to the fullest and never be afraid to move on. So far she's avoided any situation that brought her anywhere near that goal though._

_He is hanging around her a lot more these days though. That man is finally learning to be compassionate and let his true feelings known but she won't listen to any of it. A part of me wants to applaud her for being so faithful while a larger part of me wantsto yell at her to be happy. These contradicting emotions don't suit me at all._

_Currently she is sitting beside the K.I.A stone where my name is engraved crying her eyes out once again. I want to tell her not to cry, that I'm not really gone, that I'm right here watching over her but my screams just bounce back to me and she doesn't hear. He is holding her sobbing body but she doesn't even seem to notice, all she is seeing is my name and remembering my death._

_I don't want her to remember that, what about all the times we had fun? All the times she would run and I would chase her around the village pretending I couldn't quite keep up with her? All the evenings we spent lying together on the couch watching a movie but concentrating more on each other? The days we would train until we callapsed in exhaustion in the grass and held each other watching the clouds roll by? The kisses, the hugs, the touches, the looks; why can't she remember any of those and smile?_

_This nightmare is pulling me again, trying to tear me away from the only thing I have left to hold on to other than my fading memories. This time it's different though, it's no longer that strong wrenching feeling, more like a gentle tug; and I know what it means._

_It's time to let go._

_There are so many things I did wrong in life and even in death I can't make up for them. I made so many mistakes and lived with so many regrets that this is my punishment. Why did I do this to her? If I had never interfered in her life and made her fall in love she wouldn't be hurting so much right now. She would be happily married somewhere with lots of cute little babies running around instead of sitting in the cold crying. Then again neither of us would have all the wonderful memories we made together. I loved her to death and beyond, literally, and I will continue to love her no matter where her life leads._

_Now it's time to say goodbye and my words come out as barely a shaky whisper, this time though, they don't bounce back._

"_Please stop you're crying, don't mourn my death anymore because I'm fine. Don't forget me but please don't remember the bad, think of all the times we've laughed together and cherish those memories for all time. Move on with your life and be happy again. I love you. Goodbye Sakura."_

_Closing my eyes I allow the void to carry me away. Where I'm going I don't have a clue but I know that peace lies just beyond this prison.

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Sakura held her sobs back and looked towards the landscape in front of her. For just a moment she could have sworn she heard his voice echoing through the empty field. It was as if he was standing not more than a few feet away it seemed so real but she was just being foolish. Still that didn't change that fact that she heard him, clear as day.

Turning her head up to the overcast sky Sakura let fresh tears stream down her face. Oddly enough she didn't feel like crying anymore, she was still sad but the tears were slowing their flow and she felt a calm peace settling over the field where the K.I.A stone stood. The place her loves name was engraved for all eternity as a brave shinobi of the Leaf who died protecting the people and village he loved.

Sakura lowered her head again and turned to meet the eyes of the man holding her. The deep red eyes of her Sharingan wielding friend and ex-crush looked at her with concern and sadness.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke's soft baritone voice drifted to her ears and she offered him a small sad smile.

"No, not for a while yet, but I will be."

Standing, Sakura offered a hand to Sasuke which he accepted and pulled the man to his feet. With a final glance at the gloomy sky the pink-hair kunoichi closed her eyes and smiled a true smile for the first time in ages.

'_I love you too Kakashi.'

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**Ending Notes: well there ya go… just a quick 1000 word drabble about having the strength to let go and move on even when it hurts. Hope you liked it!**


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